Intellectuals of the world unite, you have nothing to lose other than your superior sense of solitude

There I was, sitting like any sane person in the vegan coffeeshop in hip Williamsburg, when a notice on fluorescent green paper caught my notice.

"Seeking Brainy, Cultured People In Your Area?",the notice opened. "Then hook up to Intellect Connect, the best way to meet intellectuals, and have a good time." Ah, the restraint. I reproduce the link for your convenience:

http://www.intellectconnect.com

Wishing not to demean myself by looking too much at the connections that intellects can make, I can only speculate about the activities. So, some speculations:

Intellectuals Go to a Destruction Derby
Intellectuals Go to Prison
Intellectuals Kick a Dog Till its Eyes Bleed

Maybe that's just the bright crowd I hang out with.

Having lived on the East Coast of America for four weeks, I now feel tolerably well-equipped to make the generalisation, that Intellect Connect is missing a trick with the broader American populace. No, what we need is something more like "Dude Connect." Somebody patent the URL, while I follow the thought. Now I see it: Dude Connect, could be, like, a place for dudes together and...hang. Tag-line:

"Dude Connect. For dudes, who wanna, connect, dude. Sorry, dude, I said a word other than dude."

Actually, I lie, when I claim that trawling classefied ads is beneath me, or even something I don't do each and every night. If you look on Craigslist, that bastion of the new age in offering cheap furniture and no-strings homosexual sex, you often find romantic missives from people with interesting definitions. Like "European." Not infrequently, the phrase "looking for a European-style relationship" crops up, normally delivered by lonely women. Once, I found the answer to what was codified in this term: "i.e.", continued one post, "a relationship with integrity, not fantastic sex on the first night."

As a European, I quail at this reading. And not for the reason you think, Sarah-